Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Randomize
