I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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