I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize