look no pants
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
this will be a night to untag.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
