What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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