In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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