My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
