Nicole vs. Life
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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