I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Bring me that man meat
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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