After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I love you. Go after that dick
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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