Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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