In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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