Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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