You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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