everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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