The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
