Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
