I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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