Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
