Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
