I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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