ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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