She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
