So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
