I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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