Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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