Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize