So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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