The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
