He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
