We won't sleep together?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
