the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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