remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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