New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Of course I have a pirate flag
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
