It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
