I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
