shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
