she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
