Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
