with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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