wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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