I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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