I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
