At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
