yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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