Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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