she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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