there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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