Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
