Duck Duck Cougar?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
