We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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