Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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