Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
