i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
