speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
